


Disembodied

by hungryhungryterrors



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: I just love Jarvis more, M/M, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, No Friday, Pepper Potts Is a Good Bro, Peter Parker is a Good Bro, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Precious Peter Parker, Prolly gonna get gay later on, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Slow Build, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, it's not that I don't like her
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2020-12-14 15:16:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21017885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hungryhungryterrors/pseuds/hungryhungryterrors
Summary: After touching down in Italy, Tony sees an old ex-friend fall from the sky.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Please excuse the short preface, and less so but still short next chapter- had to get this idea down before I lost it! As always, please comment below if you have any questions, suggestions, or noticed any mistakes. I always love to improve my work!  
I'll be updating this upcoming Tuesday, October 15th, and then after that I'll try to stick to a schedule of updating every week on Tuesday.

Look, no one said Tony was a smart man. Intelligent, yes, a genius, of course, the next Einstein, sure, but smart? Ask anyone who actually knew the man, and even quite a few who didn’t, and they would all tell you ‘smart’ wasn’t even in the man’s vocabulary.

So was it smart to immediately suit up and burst out of the airport parking lot when he saw a familiar red white and blue figure fall from the sky? Maybe not. But despite not knowing  _ why  _ that familiar figure was falling, Tony knew he had to do something. So, suit up he did.

Crash into the figure’s  _ new  _ flying friend is also what he did, though that wasn’t on purpose. 

“Son of a bitch!” that flying friend cursed.

Tony’s brain whirred, and before he knew what he was doing, he dropped the cursing, flying friend onto the nearest rooftop. The man was probably fine, even if his wings were toast.

And still that familiar figure continued to fall. Tony didn’t need the calculations lighting up his HUD to know that figure had already reached terminal velocity, and wasn’t slowing down any time soon. How had he gotten up so high in the first place? What was he even  _ doing _ in Italy?

“Faster, faster, must go faster.”

_ “Sir, too much faster and you will harm the Cap-” _

** _T_ **

** ** ** _H_ **

** ** ** _O_ **

** ** ** _O_ **

** ** ** _M_ **

The figure crashed into Tony’s outstretched arms. He held tight. The impact spun him out of control. He was already so close to the ground. Shit. Shit shit shit shit stabilize, stabilize,  _ stabili- _

Tony’s world went green.

  
  



	2. Impact

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and the Secret Avengers head back to Stark Tower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I had to do some reworking of the story, but better now than later, right? I think this was a better direction to take everyone in, though, and I hope you all agree!

Tony came to numb. He might have noticed if his first thought wasn’t _ Steve! _

He shot up from his pavement crater, head on swivel. There! A crowd of people surrounded Steve, gawking, crying. Tony hurried towards them. “_Back up,_” he growled. They jerked away, giving him space. 

And there was Steve. Maybe he should have gotten angry, or feel anything other than worry. Maybe Tony’s heart should have tightened, or skipped a beat, or quickened, or _ something. _ It did none of those things. But Tony was too busy to notice.

“Steve? Come on big guy, wake up.” Tony wanted to hold Steve’s head, take off his cowl, _slap _ him, do _ something- _ but he couldn’t touch Steve. What if he’d broken something on impact? “Has anyone called an ambulance?” Tony barked.

A little girl with tears streaming down her face raised her hand.

“Good job, _ patatina_, that’s good. They’ll be here soon, we just have to keep him safe. Jarvis, got an eta on that ambulance?”

Jarvis did not answer.

“Jarvis?”

Silence.

“Shit! Not you too.”

… … … …

Steve, and his friends, Natasha and… Falcon? Sam something- whatever. They had been fighting some wizard or other. Wizards, apparently, exist. So that’s cool. Sam had been carrying Steve, planning on dropping the super soldier on top of the wizard. The wizard had had other ideas. He’d shot them with some spell. Sam had dropped an unconscious Steve. He’d dove to catch the Captain, but….

“Then you ripped one’a my wings off.”

Tony shrugged. The suit made low whirring sounds with the motion. “Bill me later. Keep going.”

Tony had dropped Sam off on some rooftop, low enough to not kill the man, but high enough to break his arm and fractured a leg. Then Sam had been forced to watch Steve crash into Tony’s arms, and their subsequent spiral out of control. The wizard had made a desperate shot at them, though it seemed Tony’s suit took the brunt of it. Natasha managed to shoot the wizard. Through the head, unfortunately, so they wouldn’t get any intel out of him. Tony and Steve tumbled through the air. They hit the ground, Tony’s back first. Steve had bounced out of Tony’s arms. They’d both laid still as the crowd of onlookers swarmed them. And then Tony had gotten up. And his first thought had been to find Steve.

“And now we’re here,” Sam finished, looking down. Tony followed his gaze to where Steve lay in a hospital bed, looking pitiful in his dotted gown and plethora of tubes. “He’s gonna be pissed you cut up his suit.”

“He can bill me too,” Tony said. And he meant it. Hell, he’d make Steve his own Iron Man suit. He’d make the man a _ million _ suits. Suits with parachutes, better shock absorbency, built in _ shields- _Tony looked back to Sam. 

“What were you guys even doing here?”

“Does it really matter?” Sam asked.

Tony sighed. “No. Not really.”

… … … …

When Steve finally woke up, Tony had been in the suit for thirteen hours and twenty minutes. Multiple doctors had asked Tony to take it off so they could check him for injuries, but Tony wouldn’t let them. He couldn’t feel anything anyways- and no news is good news, right? 

Besides. At least in the suit, Tony wouldn’t have to look Steve in the eye. Not really.

Sam had eventually been forced to go back to his own room to sleep. Natasha, who’d come in somewhere around hour seven, had shared a few words with Tony before falling asleep in the chair Sam had vacated. Tony wasn’t tired. He also wasn’t sitting- the hospital chairs wouldn’t be able to hold the suits weight. So Tony leaned against the wall, monitoring Steve’s vitals.

Tony knew the second Steve was awake, even if the soldier feigned sleep as he no doubt tried to figure out where he was. Steve stayed still for a long time- six minutes and forty-two seconds, to be exact- before he finally took a deep breath and opened his eyes. If he was surprised to see Tony there, he didn’t show it. Steve looked over at Natasha, gaze softening.

“Morning, Cap’n,” Tony said quietly. He couldn’t help but marvel at how easily the words came out.

“How long was I out?”

“Little over twelve hours. Just a catnap, really.”

“Sam?”

“Broken arm. Clean break. Fractured leg. Not so clean, but he’ll be fine.” Tony probably should have frowned- or made any facial expression at all. And maybe he did, but he couldn’t feel it. “That was my fault. I might have ran into him.”

Steve surprised Tony by laughing. “I’m sure he’ll thank you for that.”

Tony chuckled. “Yeah, not so much. I think I owe him a new pair of wings.” He looked down at Steve’s sad gown again. “I owe you a new suit, too.”

Steve shrugged, then winced. Must still be tender in spots. “You don’t have to do that, Tony. I don’t want you getting into trouble for me.”

“Too late for that,” Tony said. It came out flatter than he meant, not in the joking tone he’d meant. He knew Steve had heard it too when the other man smiled sadly.

“Yeah. I guess it is.”

Tony wanted to kick himself. “So. Wizards,” he said, trying to backtrack.

Steve scowled. “Yeah. Wizards. Thomas Miller. Calls himself Bitter Stand. He hurts people. Experiments on them. Steals bodies. We don’t know what he does with them. This was our chance to find out.”

“You might never find out now.” Tony nodded towards Natasha. “Turned his face into a whistle. Probably saved your life.”

Steve sighed. “At least he can’t hurt anyone else.”

Tony clenched his hands into fists. At least, the suit’s hands. He couldn’t feel his hands. Couldn’t feel the warmth of the suit, though he knew he should. Couldn’t feel any bruises, cuts, scrapes- breaks in his own arms, even. Steve had slammed into his arms so hard Tony was sure it was only the suit that kept them from bending backwards. 

“Tony? Are you alright? Or did Miller hurt you?”

“He didn’t hurt me.” Tony wanted to laugh. He didn’t. “But he mighta done _something_.”

… … … …

When Tony’s feet finally hit State ground again- New York State to be specific- he’d been in the suit for forty-three hours and nineteen minutes. He’d tried taking it off- every suit was built with an ejection protocol, _ and _ an ejector _ button, _for lack of a better word, in case his connection to Jarvis was interrupted. All he had to do was twist the rim of the arc reactor like a combination lock and boom, the suit would unfurl like a flower to bless the world once more with Tony’s visage.

Unfortunately, that hadn’t worked.

Oh no, the protocol was probably fine. It was more that Tony couldn’t make himself _ use _it. Every time he tried, the world would start to go hazy. Sound would get fuzzy, he’d start to sway- the closest he’d come to triggering the protocol was physically touching the reactor with his fingers. He’d blacked out. Thankfully, he’d been alone for that one. He came to maybe ten minutes later, shaking so hard the suit had clattered like a metal rattlesnake.

He hadn’t tried it again.

Stark Tower was the best place to deal with this problem. He’d take his private jet back, offering a ride to Steve and Natasha. And Sam whats-his-face. It would have been rude to leave the guy stranded in Italy, even if Tony still didn’t know quite how to feel about him. Besides, it’d be easier to get his hands all up in those wings with Sam nearby.

During their flight, Steve had tried to coax Tony out of the suit.

“Tony, you need to sleep.”

“I can sleep in the suit,” Tony snapped. He didn’t mention that he _ hadn’t _been sleeping, hadn’t even felt tired. 

Steve sighed. “You need to eat. When was the last time you did that, in the suit or otherwise?”

Tony had no answer for that. He’d once again clenched his fists. He didn’t tell Steve about the warnings lighting up his HUD. Yeah, the suit was worried about his vitals, but… surely how Tony felt was worth something, right? Tony shook his head. “All the more reason to stay in the suit, Cap. _ If _something is wrong- and that’s a big if- taking off the suit could exacerbate it. I’d rather stay in one piece, at least ‘till we make it to the tower.”

Steve frowned then, shoulders tensed up. “If you’re bringing us back to turn us in…” Steve trailed off, giving Tony a hard look.

Tony wanted to give that look back. Instead he forced a chuckle. “And get on Nat’s bad side? Come on Cap, I do have _ some _sense of self-preservation.” He looked over to where Natasha and Sam sat, luxuriating in the jet’s plush cushions while they played chess. Natasha was, of course, winning, though Sam swore it was only because he was all doped up on painkillers. Tony didn’t know if he was smiling or not. He liked to think he was. “‘Sides, I still owe your buddy some wings.”

Steve had emphatically declined Tony’s offer to make him a new suit. Tony pretended that didn’t sting. Sam had emphatically demanded Tony make him new wings. Tony pretended that wasn’t a relief.

“And what if they ask about us? Ask you if you’ve seen us, if you’re harbouring us?”

Tony looked back to Steve. Steve’s eyes were so grey now. They’d lost that intense blue that Tony knew and… admired. Tony looked into Steve’s eyes, and past his own masked reflection he saw ninety years of hurt and loss and exhaustion. Well, thirty years and some change. 

Tony wished he could soothe that hurt away- and shook his head again, as if he could shake away his feelings. “I’ll tell them the truth. That it’s none of their damn business.”

When the jet landed, Pepper and Happy were already waiting for him. Everyone filed out of the jet, happy to have their feet on solid ground despite the comfort of flying Air Stark. Steve went first, then Sam, then Natasha. Tony would have stayed on the jet, if Natasha hadn’t given him an expectant, knowing gaze.

If Pepper was surprised to see the ‘Secret Avengers,’ she didn’t let on. Much, anyway. Tony could see, even from the back of the line, how pleased she was to see Steve and Natasha again. Oh yeah. _ She’d _ been their friend too.

“Ms. Potts,” Steve said with what Tony could only imagine was his best Captain America smile. 

Pepper grinned, despite herself. “Don’t think you can keep him out of trouble with manners, Steve. Tony has a lot of explaining to do.”

Yeah, ‘cause that made Tony wanna leave the jet even more.

But, he was a big boy, with his big boy nitinol pants on, so he followed Natasha. Pepper’s brow furrowed when she saw him, but she shook it off, hugging Natasha instead.

“Good to have you back, Nat.”

“Good to be back. Mostly,” Natasha said with a wry grin. Pepper rolled her eyes.

And then she focused on Tony.

He would never admit how that steely gaze of hers made his skin crawl- at least, it usually did, when he could _ feel _that skin. Even so, Tony knew he was in trouble.

“I will deal with _ you _later.”

Tony nodded, holding back a snarky retort. He’d been in Italy for Company Business, and blowing that off had pissed off a lot of people, including Pepper. He’d charm his way out of trouble, of course, but… that could probably wait until Pepper had had time to cool off. 

Happy gave him a smirk. Tony could help but ponder the logistics of giving the suit a tongue to stick out at people. He could most definitely do it, but would it ruin the face plate’s figure? Tony suddenly wished he could ask Jarvis.

… … … …

Tony broke off from the main group once they reached the tower. He flew up to his room rather than go in with everyone else and risk Pepper stealing him away to yell at him. In his room, Tony plopped into bed, ignoring the way the frame shrieked. Something in the bed frame definitely snapped, but he could worry about that later. He knew he should go down and socialize. He’d genuinely missed… everyone. It would be nice to go and pretend like nothing had changed.

Instead, he moped on the bed and watched the flickering lights of his HUD. Heart rate too low, water consumption too low, food consumption too low, organs beginning to suffer- he scoffed and turned to lay on his side. Of course the readings followed him. Each one reached out like a sharp accusation. You’re dying, you’re _ dying _, you’re DYING- but he felt fine. It was when he thought about taking the suit off that he felt… less than fine. 

He heaved a sigh. There was no indication that’d he done so past the brush of static out of the suit’s speakers.

_ “Sir, are you alright?” _

Tony would have grinned, if he could. “Jarvis! You are quite the sound for sore ears, you know.” Tony liked to think that Jarvis would have grinned too, if he could.

_ “Likewise, Mr. Stark. However, your behavior is concerning.” _

Tony chuckled. “When is it not?”

_ “You have yet to remove the suit. I cannot access your vitals, but I can extrapolate from the given data. Mr. Stark, if you do not consent to medical care-” _

“Ugh, come on, J, not you too.” 

_ “I have been informed that it has been far beyond the recommended time frame since your last drink, and longer still since your last meal. Please, Sir. This is not healthy.” _

Tony growled, pushing his armored face deeper into the plush sheets. He was probably ruining them, laying here in the suit and clutching at them with his metal plated fingers. But that was okay. Tony ruined things all the time. He was good at it.

_ “Captain Rogers is here to see you,” _Jarvis finally said. 

Tony would have frowned, if he could. “Well tell him to go play with someone else, I’m not in the mood.”

“It’s a good thing I’m not here to play then.”

Tony shot up from the bed. “_Jarvis _,” he started. 

Steve stood in the doorway, cutting him off with a disappointed look. He walked right on in, not as though he owned the place, but _ deserved _it. Tony held back the urge to swallow with a throat he couldn’t feel. Standing like that, taking up the whole room with his righteous presence, Steve looked like the posters of Captain America Tony had hidden in his school lockers. 

He looked like the Captain America that had stood between Tony and the man who killed Maria Stark. 

“Don’t yell at him for being the adult here, Tony.”

Tony bristled at Steve’s fatherly tone. “How did you even get up here so fast? Did Happy show you the way?” He shook his head and tsked. “Can’t get good security these days.”

“Tony, everyone’s worried about you.”

“Then tell them to stop worrying, I’m fine. In fact, I’m better than fine, I’m positively radiant! Tell him, Jarvis.” Jarvis chose to stay quiet. Traitor.

Steve’s brow furrowed. “Is this about what Miller did to you?”

It had been a mistake to say anything about that. “What I _ thought _he did- I’m good, Cap.”

“You don’t need to lie to me. I just want to help.”

“Well I don’t need your help.”

“Fine. Then at least let _ someone _help you.”

“I don’t _ want _help!” The suit’s palms spat heat and flame as he jolted to an upright position. Standing on the bed like this, Tony could look down at Steve instead of up. 

Immediately, Steve deflated. Oh. Maybe this would be easier than Tony thought. “Are you afraid of me?” Or not.

Tony stopped, head cocking to the side. “What?”

“The last time I saw you I jammed my shield into your chest.”

Tony snorted. “I wasn’t gonna bring it up.”

“Tony, I would understand if you’re nervous around me.”

Oh that was rich. Of course the great Captain America would see Tony’s desire for alone time as evidence that he was some damaged little boy who needed an adult to make things better. If he could have, Tony would have rolled his eyes.

With a _ thunk _ he jumped off the bed. The walls trembled with his impact- he should see about making the suits lighter. “Now listen here, Rogers-” the floor began to creak. Wait, how sturdy were the floors in Stark Tower?

**C R A C K**

Tony yelped as he fell through the floor like a hot knife through a pat of butter.

He should _ really _look into making the suits lighter.

Good news? He only destroyed one floor. Bad news? He landed on the marble topped island in the kitchen. The marble top that would now need replacing. 

“Tony! Oh my god, are you alright?”

Tony groaned, looking up to see Pepper and Natasha sitting at the island. Natasha had a mug in her hand- looked like she had just saved it from Tony. Pepper had a large brown patch of wet on her blouse. Looks like she _ wasn’t _able to save her drink from Tony. At least she was alright though- thank goodness he hadn’t fallen more to the left. Tony waved her concern off.

“Peachy keen, Pep.”

Her worry morphed into rage. Oh dear.

“That’s it! Out of the suit! _ Now!_”

“Yeah, that’s prob’ly fair.”

He pulled himself off the island with a sigh, brushing bits of wood and marble off his ass.

“Tony! Don't you dare stall.” Pepper’s face was completely red, and Tony worried she was about to have an aneurysm.

A retort was on the tip of his tongue, but he held it back. Instead he took a deep breath- or a long one, at the very least. He reached for the arc reactor and immediately grew slow, treated to that familiar sensation of dissolving into nothingness. It reminded him of the time he’d tried ayahuasca, only then it had been fun. Sound and sight began to fall away. _ He _began to away, and it felt like any minute he would sink into the floor and cease to be.

He shook his head pulled away. Reality righted itself once more- but that only meant he could see that Steve had joined the party. Ugh, what, did he slide down the whole in the floor? Real classy. 

With a scowl in his soul, if not on his face, Tony rolled his wrist and reached for the arc reactor. His hand hit a barrier. It wasn’t a solid line he couldn’t cross. Instead it felt more like the reactor was buried in thick sludge that he couldn’t push his hand through even with all the strength of the suit.

Someone said his name. Tony ignored them. His HUD flashed with several warnings. Tony ignored those too. He focused on wiggling his hand through that invisible sludge, using the other hand to push on his elbow for leverage. The closer his hand got to the arc reactor, the more Tony’s entire being vibrated with dizzying force. It was like wanting to puke without being nauseous. So close- he was almost there.

Someone touched his shoulder. He _ felt _the warm, broad hand on the suit’s metal skin, felt it go _through _the suit and touch his very existence. Tony shuddered. He was going to be sick! That hand slid from shoulder to back. He could see the movement flash before his eyes in great rippling galaxies. The person touching him said his name, and Tony could taste the voice on the back of a tongue he couldn't feel. It tasted like honeysuckle.

It was all too much. With another shiver, Tony collapsed to the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Patatina means little potato in Italian. A couple searches around the web have told me this is a common term of endearment for children, and since it's so damn cute I had to use it. If you speak Italian and know this term is wrong, please correct me lol.


	3. Recognition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony wakes up alone in the lab after passing out. He and Happy soon discover what's happened to him.

Cold. God, he was _ freezing_. And sore… all his joints pulsed with a sharp ache. Why did he feel so awful?

Oh yeah, he'd been dying.

Tony’s eyes snapped open. Everything was a dark, charcoal grey. Fuck- had he gone blind? No, no he could blink. Blind people couldn’t see when they blinked, could they? He was just… face down! He could feel it, feel his face pressing into the cold, hard floor. He could even feel an arm trapped under his chest. Tony groaned. “Pep? Not feeling so peachy anymore.” Pepper didn’t answer. He tried to push himself up. Nothing happened. He tried to roll over. He didn’t move. 

“Pepper? Nat? Could use a little help,” he said, cursing the way his voice wavered. No one came to help. “Guys, I can’t move. I’m not even sure I can see. If someone could just roll me over, or… _ something_.” 

They’d left him, Tony realized. He’d passed out on the kitchen floor, and they had left him. He was dying and they left him and he was alone. “_Pep!_” Tony pleaded with his arms. “_Nat!_” His limbs remained unmoved. “_Happy!_” Why couldn’t he move? “_Steve…_.” Why had they left him?

_ “Sir?” _

“Jarvis!” Something in Tony’s chest burst. Relief flooded him like thick tar, coming so quick it almost hurt. He stopped trying to move. “Jarvis, something’s wrong. Where are the others?”

The AI was quiet for a moment. Oh god, please don’t let him leave too.

Then,_“Ms. Potts is at the nearest hospital. Mr. Hogan accompanied her. He’s come back to retrieve clothing. I’ve alerted him to your circumstance. He should be here shortly.” _

Hospital? “What happened to Pepper?”

“Ms. Potts is unharmed.” 

“What? Then what happened to Nat? Or was it Steve?” Tony felt sick all over again. Had the suit malfunctioned? Could it have fallen apart, or _ blown up?_

Once again, Jarvis took a moment to respond. Why was he being so hesitant? _ “Sir, I’m afraid I must request proof of your identity.” _

“What?”

_ “I apologize, but I must insist. Please provide proof of your identity.” _

Tony blinked. What in the fuck was going on? “Are you kidding me? Jarvis, I made you from the ground up- I’ve been talking at you since before you could even hear.”

_ “Your voice is insufficient at this time. Without proper facial recognition, I cannot confirm your identity without proof.” _

“Then ‘facially recognize’ my ass!”

Someone burst into the lab. Tony could hear them panting.

“What’s going on, Jarvis?” It was Happy.

“Happy, thank god. There’s something wrong with Jarvis. He doesn’t recognize me.” There was a _ click_. “Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Tony growled.

“I don’t know who you are, or how you got in here-”

“Happy, I swear to god if you’re pointing a gun at me I will fire you so fast your head will spin.”

“Nice try, asshole, but I just saw Tony Stark. You’re not him.”

Tony made a sound of disgust. “Goddammit- it’s me, dumbass. Code 2008, password keep a low profile, I swear to god if no one gets me off this _ fucking floor-_”

_ “Accepted." _If Tony didn’t know better, he would have said the AI sounded relieved. Oh, who was he kidding? Jarvis probably would have wiped his brow with a kerchief and a sheepish smile, if he’d had a brow or lips, or sheepish-ness.

Happy decocked his gun, or at least, for his sake he better have. Tony heaved a sigh of relief. He listened as happy hurried over. Tony felt sweaty hands scrabble at his shoulders.

“Wait, am I naked?”

“Boss, I think clothes are the least of your concerns right now.” Grunting, Happy tugged at Tony’s shoulder, barely managing to roll him over.

“Take your time, sure! Not like I’m in pain or anything.”

“Yanno, you’re pretty heavy right now,” Happy bit out, giving one last tug.

Tony grunted as Happy rolled him onto his back. The world of grey whipped away to reveal- the lab ceiling? “Did you assholes toss me into the lab after I passed out?”

“No! Just Steve.” Happy rubbed his neck, refusing to look Tony in the eye.

The genius stared. Did he mean so little to them?

“Boss, it wasn’t like that! He didn’t know it was you.”

Tony snorted. “What, did Captain Senile mistake me for a dead nazi?”

“No!” Happy sighed, pinching his nose. “Ugh, Jarvis? Any way you can get me a mirror?” 

_ “Of course, Sir. Shall I pop into the other room and fetch one?” _ Happy scowled.

“A simple no would have been fine.”

The AI could not bring Happy a mirror- he did lack a physical body, after all. Still, Jarvis did one better. He pulled up the lab security feed. It materialized right above Tony’s face so he didn’t have to strain his eyes. How considerate.

He looked at the feed- and didn’t speak.

There was Happy, and there, on the ground was... his suit.

“You left me in the _ suit?!_” he screeched.

Happy flinched. “No, you’re not getting it!”

“I don’t know, Hap, it all seems pretty damn clear to me!”

_ “You have an incoming call from Miss Potts, sir,” _ Jarvis cut in.

“Not now, Jarvis-“

“No no! Patch her though, J! I got a few questions for her too!” Tony snapped.

Pepper’s voice filled the lab, echoing in the quiet dark. “Hap, will you bring me some pj’s after all? You were right, I’d rather just be comfortable.”

Tony could have grinned- a mean, sharp grin. “Hiya Pep! Howzit hangin’?”

Pepper was quiet. Then, “Happy? Who is that?”

Tony gave Happy an expectant stare. Yeah, Happy, that look said, who is this? The head of security sighed. “That would be Tony, ma’am.”

“Did you tell him we need that paperwork from 2008?”

Tony wanted to be proud that Pepper adjusted so quickly to a potential threat- didn’t miss a beat! Unfortunately that pride found itself overshadowed by unyielding rage. “You know, about that- it’s real easy to keep a low profile when you get tossed out like trash after having what I’m convinced was a magic stroke! But enough about me and my garbage friends, how are you ?” 

Pepper gasped. “Tony? That’s not… _ how?_”

“You know how it goes- had a stroke, got thrown in the lab, then everyone forgot about me and fucked off!”

“Wait, Tony no- is that really what you think happened?”

“Well I’m filling in the blanks for all the parts I was unconscious for, but that about sums it up, yeah. Why? Got anything you’d like to add?”

Pepper made a soft, hurt sound. Tony could picture her brows pinching up in the middle, eyes getting glassy with angry tears. “I’m at the hospital _ with your body._”

“I’m sorry?” Tony looked to Happy, but the other man only gave vague gestures with his hands, as if to say ‘don’t ask me.’

“Your. Body. Tony. When you passed out we took you to the _ hospital_. Do you really think that little of us?”

Tony didn’t answer. He frowned- or at least, he wasn’t smiling. Now that he thought about it, being in the suit and not his body would explain a couple things…. But it left more questions than answers! “Happy, I need you to take me to my body.”

… … … …

Happy could not lift the suit. “I’m gonna call Captain Rogers,” he wheezed, letting the suit drop the scant few inches he’d managed to lift it.

Tony grunted at the way the concrete floor rubbed his skin. The suit’s… skin? He rolled his eyes. It was a pleasant surprise, learning he could still do that, even without traditional eyes- you though, the fleshy, wet kind. “It’s three in the morning, leave him alone.” 

Happy frowned at him. “You got any other friends that can swing a thousand pounds around like it’s nothin’?”

Tony had a smart remark already cocked and loaded- and then it hit him. “Ugh, of course! Jarvis, you can pilot the suit- why didn’t we think of that before?” The AI was quiet for a moment, and Tony prepared himself for the alien feeling of movement without his input. He waited thirty-four seconds, watching the HUD’s internal clock. Nothing happened. Twelve more seconds went by. A little warning flashed across the screen- _ Attempted Security Breach in Progress. Deploy Countermeasures? [Y/N] _ That was not encouraging. “J? You good, buddy?”

_ “I apologize. I still find myself unable to access the suit- it has identified me as an outside influence, and thus a threat. Shall I attempt to bypass the firewall?” _

Tony hummed in thought. “Sure. Yeah, go ahead and try.” Seventeen seconds went by. Tony felt the phantom of a frown on his mouthless face. “J? Everything all-” bright flashes of pain popped behind Tony’s eyes. He grunted, faintly aware of his body seizing up. The suit quivered on the ground, rattling like a dropped coin.

**_Security Breach in Progress. Deploy Countermeasures? [Y/N]_** No, no, _no_, do _not_ deploy countermeasures! He could do this, he could suffer through it- surely Jarvis was almost done? The white pain seeped into the back of Tony’s head like paint. It dribbled thickly down a spine he didn’t have and he gagged as it bubbled into his missing throat.

“Boss?” Happy’s worried voice filtered in through the silent din of pain. “Jarvis, something’s wrong, I don’t think-”

“No!” Tony bit out. “Keep going!” There was a lull in the pain. It creeped back up his body to sit bubbling behind his eyes. There, see? He could do this.

Recalescent light blinded Tony. The white pain exploded like a balloon full of ink, and Tony found himself painted head to toe in suffering. Something screeched in his ear, grating like nails and glass and knives _ demolishing _ a chalkboard.

Someone shouted. Tony was half sure it wasn’t him. And then the pain disappeared. Not all at once- more that it evaporated. Tony could almost see the white vapor rising from his body like steam from water. He panted, despite not having lungs.

Happy’s sweaty hands grabbed at his face. The man’s worried face filled Tony’s scope of vision. Poor guy was all red. “Tony! Tony, talk to me, are you alright?” 

Tony groaned. “Let’s not do that again.”

_ “Whatever makes you say that?” _ Despite the snark, the worry in Jarvis's tone was clear.

Tony laughed. Happy gave him an incredulous look. “Alright, alright, this ain’t a petting zoo, Hap.”

The other man frowned, but pulled back, sitting heavily on the concrete floor next to Tony. “Please let me call Rogers.”

“No!” Tony sighed. “We can figure this out without him. Come on, I’m a genius, I’ve got this.”

“Are you sure? Because for being a genius, the last few decisions you’ve made have been pretty stupid,” Happy snapped. Tony glared at him. As an afterthought, Happy added, “sir.”

“You know, I’d appreciate a little confidence here.”

“I could call Vision,” Happy offered.

“No, don’t bother her. She’s got better things to do than come pick dad up off the floor.” Tony snorted, meaning to shake his head. Oh yeah, still paralyzed. “Besides, she’s off in Europe somewhere with Wanda. By the time she got here, we’d have already figured something else out.”

“Rhodey?”

“On vacation, remember? Sent him to some nice warm island as a treat.” Oh shit, Rhodey. “Actually, I was supposed to pick him up after Italy… hmmm, someone should definitely go do that. Anyway, even in a suit I don’t want him benching half a ton. I trust his braces, but it’s best not to push it.”

Happy sighed, nodding. “Sure, sure, fair enough point. Guess I just forget about, uh, all that, sometimes.” 

Sure, Tony got that. After all, when you were friends with Tony Stark, being paralyzed from the waist down didn’t mean you couldn’t walk. You just needed some… help. “For being the head of security, you’re pretty bad at securitizing- shouldn’t you know who all is gone and who’s here?”

The other man pouted. “Hey hey hey, you try babysitting a bunch of superheroes, see how easy it is for you.” After a minute, he looked up, staring at something Tony couldn’t see. A grin spread wide across his face, something that immediately worried the genius. “Hey boss,” Happy started.

“I feel like the answer to whatever it is you’re about to ask should be a staunch no.”

“_I _ could lift you if I wore one of the suits.”

“The key word there being _ if _ and the answering word there being _ no_.”

_ “It’s not the worst idea, Sir.” _

Tony scoffed. “Hey, don’t encourage him- you don’t even need him, you could pilot one of the other suits.”

_ “Apologies, Sir, but I’m afraid I tired myself out attempting to hack into your suit,” _ Jarvis said. He sounded neither apologetic nor tired.

Great, everyone was against him. Tony sighed. “Happy, who all has worn an Iron Man suit?”

“You, Rhodey, Pepper, and the president that one time.”

“Yup! Next question, how tall are you?”

Happy frowned, cocking his head to the side. “Six feet?”

“And how tall am I?”

“Five eight, without those hooker boots you wear all the time.”

Tony ignored that. “Alright, now how tall is Pepper? Or Rhodey? Or the president?”

Happy’s frown deepened, and then he scowled. “Oh come on!”

Tony would have grinned. “Now now, don’t pout. How tall are they?”

Happy crossed his arms, glaring off to the side. “Five eight. Pepper and Rhodey are five eight. I don’t know how tall the president is.”

“Well, Pepper is five nine, but you see my point.”

“Can’t the suits just… stretch?”

“Happy, I’m not going to embarrass you by answering that.” Tony sighed, looking up at the ceiling. “Jarvis, in all seriousness, could ya help me out here?”

A quiet _ thwiiiip _ from the back of the lab told Tony Jarvis was done teasing him. One of the suits thudded over. The dusty pink arms of the MK Fifty-Six, or Sweetie-Pi, lifted Tony off the ground princess style. The AI even quipped, _ “Need a lift, Sir?” _

Nitinol rubbed against nitinol as Jarvis carried Tony to the elevator. It made Tony’s missing teeth itch. With every step, Sweetie-Pi’s chassis grated against Tony’s arm. A particularly loud scrape made Tony wince. “Yeouch, be careful! I can feel that, you know.”

In the elevator, Happy paused, finger hovering over the ground floor button.

“Everything okay there, Hap?”

“It’s just- do you really think it’d be a good look, having one of your suits carry you into the hospital? The hospital you’re already admitted to?”

Huh. Alright, that wasn’t the worst point. “What do you want me to do then? Just hang out here while you guys cry over the wrong body?”

“I think we should talk with-”

“Don’t even say Rogers.”

“And Romanoff! And, you know, their new friend.” Happy gave Tony a stern look. “Boss, it’s been almost two years. You were gonna have to deal with him sometime anyway. Besides, they’d know more than me or Pep how to get you put back together.”

“You forget they’re wanted by several major governments. They can’t afford to run around trying to fix humpty dumpty.”

“But you know they would.”

Tony huffed. “That’s exactly why we’re not going to tell them!” The other man stared at him in disbelief. What was he expecting Tony do? Grovel on the ground and beg his ex friends to help him out of a mess he’d gotten himself into? “I mean it, Happy, not a word! This is none of their business, alright? I’ll figure it out myself.”

Happy opened his mouth to argue. He glared at Tony when nothing immediately came to mind. Closing his mouth, Happy made a sound of disgust. “Fine. But I still say you should stay in the compound until we get this all figured out.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.” Happy jabbed the button for Tony’s floor. No music played as they ascended- none of the avengers were particularly fond of elevator jazz. The two grown men avoided eye contact- or rather, Happy turned his body away from Tony, and Tony looked as far up and to the right as he could manage. 

_ Ding_. They’d reached Tony’s floor.

The doors opened- and there was Steve. He stared at the three of them, Happy, Tony, and Sweetie-Pi. “Happy?”

“Aw fuck me,” Tony groaned.


End file.
